5 years ago, OKC, Tinder, and Bumble were all pretty decent (but not great) sources for dating. There was a huge dating pool, decent number of hot women, and I could go on dates regularly/frequently. I even mentioned my open marriage upfront in the bio, and though lots of women got turned off, it provided me enough dating opportunities to sustain a good sex life.
Over the past year, at least, I’ve noticed things getting so bad on these sites that I don’t even put the effort in (in America). When I’m outside of my country, things are still so good that I use online dating as a primary way to find women.
What’s changed in 5 years?
Lots of men will bemoan about quality of women (in general), and though I disagree with the overall sentiment… I still notice that, at least in the USA, the vast majority are not that attractive. Many which are, have empty bios, or high quality *cough* ones like this:
I think the biggest thing going on is more and more men are learning how to game. This is the age of youtube, blogging, countless PUA’s offering eBooks, etc… there is no shortage of advice and instruction on seducing women. I do think men are gaining a better understanding of how to relate with and seduce women.
Despite all of this advice, I don’t think I’ve ever spotted a man sarging during the day. I keep an eye out for them in the off-chance that I can find a good wingman. Approach anxiety is a high bar, and immediate proof that you have balls. Most guys don’t have what it takes. Shit, *I* hardly have what it takes.
The bar is raised
Online game is easy to do, available, convenient. No approach anxiety, all texting, take as much time as you want for good responses, etc. What man wouldn’t use it? (only men who know better)
As an experiment, I made a fake hot women’s profile on Tinder, here’s the screenshot I got after I left the phone alone for 15 minutes:
The experience felt a lot like email, back in time before spam filters existed.
At this point, why would a hot girl bother using Tinder aside from marketing her business and gaining snapchat followers? If she actually used this to fuck, she has to be careful not to juggle a ton of different text conversations trying to setup logistics.
I think most of the hot women are naturally driven out of online dating, by the nature of this, and find that it’s a more effective as a tool for gaining social media followers and camgirl marketing. Then again, I’ve met, and banged, some super hot women from Tinder. But there’s a lot of luck, and thankfully Tinder at least lets me messages women half my age.
These days, OKC, POF, etc. have filters by default to prevent a horde of men from spam-messaging women. They don’t use any *real* filtering of chodes though, they filter for superficial bullshit like age, religion, whether you drink coffee straight or with milk, or put the toilet paper over or under the roll. If you’re an older guy that doesn’t follow the social program, it’s just one more obstacle to helping good matches find each other.
Outside America (and probably all English-speaking countries)
For perspective, I’m considered a handsome man with solid style. My bodytype is very similar to James Deen. Like him, I’m lean but not very muscular, so I’m guessing my physical SMV is an 8.
In SE Asia, white guys are still in high demand, so for me it’s easy to find women to date. For example: In a quiet tourist town in Thailand, I met 3 women on my first 2 nights there. An accent, good style, my race, and carefree attitude make me stand out from the onslaught of local men and tourists/businessmen with dad-bods.
In major metropolitan areas of China, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc… it’s the same. I can have 40 matches in a couple days, a dozen or two girls chatting and agreeing to to meet, and only a couple of them following through the hook up. This is in a matter of days, not weeks or months like the USA.
When my phone is ringing off the hook like this, I just don’t have time to keep track of all the girls and maintain conversations, and I drop a lot of the ones who don’t make clear efforts to follow my lead.
I imagine HBs doing the same thing, but dropping guys who just don’t have the right game, and sticking with the super-hot guys that hold a positive vibe and text at just the right time (to be at the top of the list when she happens to check).
Moral of the story: Go to SE Asia, and you’ll get to understand (a tiny bit of) what a hot girl has to deal with in America, and to gain perspective on why it’s so bad in America. Fuck Tinder.
Caveat: I only try to seduce HB8’s and 9’s. MAYBE a 7 if she’s a good seducer and clearly short-term, since I find that I can only have sex with a 7 for a few times before the chemistry wears out. With 8’s and above, I can sustain a sexually gratifying relationship for multiple years. If you’re less picky, then Tinder might be an ok option.