Just ended a date with a girl from Feeld, the app with maybe 1 new profile a day. Despite it’s lack of users, I’ve had had a really good match-lay ratio from it (in the past at least).
Her photo was blurry but I could tell she was hot, the texting went good, and she showed up to the date (a few minutes late, but she is a girl after all). She was a hot 8, tall, long dark hair, and I knew she had some kinky interests so her “resume” was a good one. As we met, I felt one of her cold hands and clasped both of mine onto hers for a moment to warm them before we sat down.
I could tell I was objectively attracted to her beauty and super tight bod, but for whatever reason I did not feel that lustful conjuring like I do with my past and current lovers.
Our conversation was a fluid back-n-forth with some banter, I had that bad-boy aloofness on occasion, we connected well on some topics like travel, fears, passions, yet I still wasn’t interested in escalating. There was something off: she’s hot, yet I don’t feel any chemistry with her.
This was outcome independence, for all the aspirations PUAs have with “outcome independence”, the talisman of game, this is the reality of it.
Later in the conversation I brought up the open marriage (my profile says “years of experience with open relationships”) and she immediately and obviously crossed her arms.
Then she tried digging for some gossip: “So what made you decide to have an open marriage.”
If she asked it genuinely, with warm curiosity, I would have told her. But she asked it as a loaded question, as if I have to *justify* why I have an open marriage. Fuck that, I told her “I only discuss details like that on the second date, or after I’m intimate with someone (close friends or lovers)”.
I transitioned the conversation to something else, after some more time it started to get boring and I was ready to end it, but threw a hail mary to see if she’s at my level and maybe spark some tingles/curiosity. I asked: “You’ve mentioned some interest in this, but what’s your past experience with BDSM?”
– None. All her ex-boyfriends were vanilla. She again crossed her arms and was clearly uncomfortable talking about it aside from saying she has an interest in it.
A few minutes later she ended the date to “study for her early morning finals”. Fine with me, she offered to split the bill which I was happy to do. She gave a fucking weak hug when departing… that’s it, this fish is dead.
I drove home thinking about it, I wasn’t really interested in seeing her “romantically”. But I’d be ok with her as a wing girl or kinkster friend if she was serious about learning about the scene. I didn’t want to totally reject her, since maybe she is interested, but just takes a while to warm up (in hindsight, clearly this wasn’t the case).
By the time I got home, I got my answer from Feeld:
“(User Left Chat)”
I’m not exactly sure which thing set her off: me having an open marriage (rather than just open relationship), trying to talk about BDSM on date one, a clash of personalities, or maybe I should have kissed her ass about her favorite football team (yeah right)… Ultimately it doesn’t matter, clearly she’s not the sub I’m looking for.